双语美文：性命的意思在于拥抱哗闹

　　(来源：沪江英语)

　　Around the time I turned 40, I went to see a therapist, a man who knew me well. I tended call him once or twice a year on an as-needed basis. I had reached the point of being able to sort through most problems on my own. But life had — as it occasionally does — grown suddenly complicated。

　　我40岁生日前后，我去看理疗师，那个医生很了解我。我试图一年按需电话他两三次。我都快可以本人处理所有成绩的时间，生涯突然变得庞杂起来—-有时间，生涯就是如许。

　　I had been trying with no success to have a second child. My husband and I werecontemplating egg donation and surrogacy. We had made an abrupt move from New York City to rural Connecticut in the wake of 9/11. My mother had recently died. My little boy had been seriously ill, and I was still reeling from a difficult and frightening year. I found myself questioning everything。

　　我始终想要生第二个小孩，但一筹莫展。我丈夫和我开始考虑捐献卵子和代孕。911事件后，咱们匆匆从纽约搬到康涅狄格州的乡村。当时，我母亲刚过世不久，我儿子还小，却病入膏肓，那年我过得苦楚不堪、心惊胆战，始终缓不过来。我觉得我质疑周遭的所有。

　　I went through a box of tissues during that hour with my occasional therapist, and as he walked me to the door at the end of the session, I turned to him and asked urgently: does any of this make sense?

　　和理疗师面对面的那一小时，我抽完了一整盒纸巾，问诊停止，医师陪我走到门口，我转向他焦急地问道：这所有都有意思吗？

　　Everything about you makes sense, he said。

　　你所有的所有都有意思，他说道。

　　I found these words enormously comforting. I so badly wanted the narrative of my life to make sense. Two brief failed marriages — one at 18 the other at 28? Makes sense. My uneasy relationship to faith and doubt, having been raised in a strict, religious home? Makes sense. The emptiness I continued to feel at the early loss of my father? Makes sense. My impossibly fraught relationship with my mother? Sense. My fear and guilt at the increasing odds that my son would be an only child just like I had been? Sense。

　　他的话极度安慰我心。我多渴望我生涯的所有都有意思。两段婚姻转瞬即逝，一次18岁的时间，还有一次是28岁，都有意思？有。我成长于一个严苛又虔诚的家庭，信奉与疑惑，让我惴惴不安，这也有意思？有。早年父亲过世，我的空虚无助，有意思吗？有。我与我母亲关系紧张得不可想象、令人心焦，有意思吗？有。我儿子越来越有可能和我一样是独生子女，我担惊受怕、愧疚难捱，这有意思吗？有。

　　Our lives grow so complex, so unwieldy, so difficult to explain as we get older. Haven't we all had the experience of making a new friend in our 30s, 40s or 50s and wondering how in the world we can possibly explain ourselves? Our heartaches and our joys, our failures, losses, accomplishments, regrets? Who we've loved? Who we've wounded? What we'd do over — if we possibly could — if given the chance? As the trajectory of our lives stretches out from childhood well into adulthood, the arc is rarely smooth or clear。

　　咱们的性命如斯庞杂、难以驾驭、越年长越无以说明。咱们都有如许的阅历，三十几、四十几和五十多岁的时间结交新友人；也曾迷惑在这世上，咱们何故向本人说明咱们的心病和咱们的喜悦，咱们的失败、沮丧、成功和懊悔？咱们爱过谁，又伤害了谁？若可能、如有机会，咱们会抉择什么重新来过？咱们的人生轨迹，从童年一路延伸到成年，轨迹鲜有平滑和清晰的时间。

　　My husband, a screenwriter, is often asked to adapt biographies for film, and the struggle, he often says, is that lives have first acts, but they don't have third acts (until they're over) and second acts are just one damned thing after another. So how to understand the narratives of our lives? How to trust that everything about us makes sense?

　　我丈夫是片子剧本作家，常常应要求把传记改编成片子。此中困苦，如其所言，性命有第一幕，但没有第三幕(除非剧目停止)，而第二幕老是恼人的事件接踵而至地发生。以是，又怎能真正理解咱们性命的历程？又何故相信咱们性命的所有都有意思？

　　Lately I've been wondering if perhaps the answer to this is not to even attempt to smooth things out. Sure, there are the fortunate few from whom the journey has thus far been smooth sailing, but for the vast majority of us, there are fits and starts, hiccups, confusion, mistakes, wrong turns, U-turns, graceless moments. Life's road is nothing if not strewn with pebbles, potholes, unexpected surprises, both happy and not-so-happy ones。

　　最近，我始终在想，也许这一成绩的谜底就是，不要试图去处理所有事件。诚然，少数幸运儿的人生迄今一帆风顺，但咱们对大多数人而言，性命里会有断断续续、会有中断的时间、会有迷惑、错误、会拐错弯、掉错头，还有颜面尽失的时间。若非有小石子儿、坑坑洼洼在，若非有意外与你不期而遇，或惊喜或惊愕，性命之路会一文不值。

　　As one of my dearest friends, the Buddhist teacher Sylvia Boorstein says, “We are always accommodating to a new situation.” That ever-changing new situation is, in fact, what makes up the shape of our lives. And that shape assumes its own kind of integrity, over time. This is how it is, how it has been. The truth of who we are is all we have to offer each other. And so often we want to edit it, to hide it, to cut and paste the story so that it will read like something intentional, something that we all meant to do all along。

　　正如我最亲密的一位友人、禅学教师西薇雅・布尔斯坦所言，“咱们老是在适应新情况。”不断变化的新情况，事实上成就了咱们性命的状态。而那一状态，经久历时，呈现出其特有的完整性。这就是性命的样貌、性命缘何如斯。咱们真真正正是谁，也就是咱们要彼此展现的。太多次，咱们想要修改、想要隐藏、想剪切复制事实情况，好像听起来有意，是咱们始终刻意追求的那样。

　　And so it seems that the answer may well be to embrace the complexity of our lives. A beautiful piece of Buddhist wisdom known as “The Eight Vicissitudes” goes like this: pain and pleasure, praise and blame, fame and disrepute, gain and loss. All lives contain all of these. Not at once, not in order, not in equal amounts — but nonetheless, all lives contain all of these. I find great solace in this. We are all here, trying our best, muddling through. We make choices, we re-group, we deepen. We learn from each other. We all make sense。

　　以是，似乎谜底很有可能就是，去迎接性命的庞杂性。禅学智慧有一条很出彩，即“八大人生起伏”，是这么说的：苦楚有享乐、赞誉与责备、美誉与恶名，及得与失。所有性命都包含这几条。不是说来就来，也并非按序阅历、平均分配—-但不管怎样，所有性命都会阅历这所有。这让我大为安慰。咱们都在此，以己之能，揣摩前行。咱们作抉择、咱们重整旗鼓、咱们深化性命的意思。咱们彼此学习，咱们都活出有意思。

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