时代在变唯爱不变：中国传统定情信物知多少(双语)

　　People in love always give gifts to each other. Flowers, chocolate jewelry… these things, however, are fairly cliche. Maybe we could have taken tips from some ancient suitors who defied the strict controls placed on social life to deliver presents to the object of their affection.

　　恋爱中的人总是互赠礼物。鲜花、巧克力或珠宝…然而这些东西，又过于陈词滥调。或许我们可以从一些古代的追求者那里得到一些建议，这些人冲破当时社会封建礼教的严格束缚，向他们的心上人赠与信物表明心意。

　　Fruit

　　水果

　　Ok, so these, admittedly, were for cheapskates, but a tasty piece of fruit is still quite nice. They were endowed with extra meaning thanks to the Shijing, or the Book of Songs, the oldest existing collection of Chinese poetry. Because of the popularity of Shijing, sending fruits as a symbol of love became a custom. Here is the poem:

　　当然，送水果看上去很小气，但是一份美味的水果仍然还是很不错的。他们被赋予了额外的意义，这要归功于《诗经》(the Book of Songs)-现存最古老的中国诗歌集。由于《诗经》的受欢迎程度，把水果作为爱情的象征而送出成为了一种习俗。这里有关于水果的一首诗:

　　A quince thou givest to me;I have a gem for thee.Not as requital I give,But a token of eternal love. A quince thou givest to me;I have a jade for thee.Not as requital I give,But a token of eternal love.A plum thou givest to me;I have a jewel for thee.Not as requital I give,But a token of eternal love.

　　投我以木瓜,报之以琼琚.匪报也,永以为好也！投我以木桃,报之以琼瑶.匪报也,永以为好也！投我以木李,报之以琼玖.匪报也,永以为好也！

　　Jade pendant

　　玉佩

　　Jade was also mentioned in the poem above, smooth surface and clear color, it was usually connected with the character of junzi, referring to men of perfect virtue. As a saying goes, “A modest humble junzi is as gentle as jade. Adult men usually wore a jade pendant with them. It was said that “a junzi never takes off his jade for no reason”. No man would give their jade to others casually, unless they had a faith that this woman was his true love. Women of course needed to pay back this gift. They usually made beautiful lanyards with silk threads for their lovers, to tie their jade pendants to their waistband.

　　在上面的诗中，也提到了玉，光滑的表面和清透的颜色，通常映射“君子”的品性，借指拥有完美品德的人。正如一句谚语所说,“谦谦君子,温润如玉”。成年男子通常戴着玉坠，正所谓“君子无故,玉不去身”。没有人会随意地把玉送给别人，除非他们相信这个女人是他的真爱。当然，女性需要回报这份礼物。他们通常用丝线为爱人制作美丽的系带，把他们的玉垂饰在腰带上。

　　Red beans

　　红豆

　　In China, the red bean has another name, love pea. It is said that long long ago, when a man went to war, his wife stood under a tree every day, looking forward to his return. The woman missed her husband so much that she cried every day. After her tears dried up, blood came out from her eyes. When those blood beads dropped onto the earth, a sprout appeared there. And when it grew into a big tree, it was covered with red beans, which just looked like the blood teardrops.

　　在中国，红豆有另一个名字，相思豆。据说，很久以前，当一个男人去打仗的时候，他的妻子每天都站在一棵树下，期待着他的归来。这个女人非常想念她的丈夫，她每天都哭。眼泪干了，她的眼睛里流出了血。当这些血珠掉到地上时，就出现了一个芽。当它长成一棵大树时，上面布满了红豆，看起来就像血滴。

　　Wang Wei, a famous poet in the Tang Dynasty wrote a famous poem about the red beans. A rough translation of the poem might be as follows:

　　唐代著名诗人王维写了一首关于红豆的著名诗篇。这首诗的大致翻译如下:

　　The red bean grows in southern lands.With spring its slender tendrils twine.Gather for me some more, I pray,Of fond remembrance is the sign.

　　红豆生南国,春来发几枝.愿君多采撷,此物最相思.

　　Handkerchief

　　手帕

　　Handkerchiefs were another popular option. After having a good time together, people were always reluctant to say goodbye. In most cases, they would shed tears silently. At that time, they took out their handkerchiefs, wiped each other's tears, and left them with each other. Because handkerchiefs were usually made up of silk threads (丝), which has the same pronunciation with 思( lovesickness). A folk song written by Feng Menglong explained why handkerchiefs could express one's feelings:

　　手帕是另一个受欢迎的选择。在一起度过美好时光后，人们总是不愿意说再见。在大多数情况下，他们会默默地流泪。这时，他们拿出手帕，擦去彼此的眼泪，彼此离开了。因为手帕通常是由丝线织成,它与“思”具有相同的发音(相思病)。冯梦龙写的一首民歌解释了为什么手帕可以表达自己的感情:

　　I don't write songs or poems,Just send you a handkerchief with all my love;Please look at the handkerchief carefully,It is all made of threads (a pun for lovesickness).

　　不写情词不写诗,一方素帕寄心知.心知拿了颠倒看,横也丝来竖也丝.

　　Combs

　　梳子

　　Combs were a popular option. On the “The Night of Sevens”, also known as the “Chinese Valentine's Day”, (the seventh of July according to the Chinese lunar calendar), people would send a comb to their lovers. According to the traditional customs, before a woman got married, her family would comb her hair, wishing her a long happy marriage. So buy your girlfriend a lovely comb on Chinese Valentine's Day, she will love it.

　　梳子是一个很流行的选择。“七夕之夜”，也被称为“中国情人节”(中国农历七月初七)，人们会给他们的情人送梳子。根据传统习俗，在一个姑娘结婚之前，她的家人会为她梳理头发，祈盼她婚姻幸福。所以在七夕节给你的女朋友买一把漂亮的梳子，她会喜欢的。

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