双语：这十种“有毒”的朋友还是敬而远之吧

　　“多个朋友多条路”。可是，如果你的朋友“有毒”呢？有研究显示，如果一个人感到疲惫、崩溃或缺乏自信，那可能不是你本身的问题，而可能是因为你的朋友“有毒”。那些用语言或行为给人带来困扰，让人感到灰心丧气甚至感觉生活“了无生趣”的朋友被称为“有毒朋友”。如果身边有以下这十种人，最好还是远离他们吧。

　　1. They always seem to be focusing on the negative side of things
      1. 他们似乎总是关注事情消极的一面

　　Friends share the ups and downs of their lives with each other. However, friends who are toxic tend to always talk about how everything that is bad without seeing any of the good. They tend to ignore all the good which makes you ignore it as well bringing your mood and motivation down. It's important to help them out with their problems but also make sure it doesn't affect you negatively.

　　朋友们互相分享生活中的欢乐与波折。然而，“有毒”的朋友总是要谈论糟糕的事情，看不到生活中的闪光点。他们总是忽略生活中的好人好事，这让你也忽略了它们，使你情绪不佳，失去动力。帮他们解决问题很重要，但也要确保这不会给你带来消极影响。

　　2. They never listen to any of your problems
      2. 他们从不倾听你的任何问题

　　They always call you when something is wrong with them but never seem to have time for you when you have a problem. They expect you to be there for them when something goes wrong but are nowhere to be found when you need help. Friends who do this leave you feeling more lonely than you realise.

　　他们遇到问题时总爱给你打电话，但当你遇到问题时总是没时间。遇上麻烦时，他们希望你随时支持，但当你需要帮助时他们却没影了。这样的朋友让你感到更孤独。

　　3. They are quick to point out your flaws
      3. 他们对你的缺点脱口而出

　　Honesty is important in any relationship, and friendships are no exception. However, it's when the honesty becomes relentless criticism of everything you do that the relationship becomes toxic. You find yourself unable to talk to your friend because you are afraid that they will point out everything you did wrong instead of offering you their support.

　　在任何关系中，诚实都很重要，友谊也不例外。然而，当这种诚实变成无论你做什么都会遭到无休止的批评，这种友谊就“有毒”了。你发现无法和朋友交谈，因为你害怕他们会指出你做的所有错误之处，而不是给予支持。

　　4. They get mad at you easily
      4. 他们很容易就对你发火

　　It's perfectly normal to experience friction and have arguments in your relationships. Toxic friends seem to always get angry with you for the smallest things you do. Any argument that you have always leaves you feeling guilty and apologetic. Friends like this are toxic because they aren't able to work out problems in a mature way.

　　朋友之间闹些小矛盾、发生些小争吵再正常不过了。“有毒”的朋友总因为你做的芝麻大的小事对你发火。你们发生的争吵总让你感到内疚和歉意。这样的朋友“有毒”，因为他们无法成熟地解决问题。

　　5. They aren't happy for your success
      5. 他们不因你的成功而快乐

　　Friends who don't appreciate your success and celebrate with you are friends who are toxic to your life. People who love you will be happy when they see your happiness. It's important for friends to be happy for each other and celebrate each other's good fortune to maintain healthy, supportive relationships.

　　不欣赏你的成功、不与你同庆的朋友是“有毒”的。真正爱你的朋友在见到你快乐时也会快乐。为对方的快乐而开心、为对方的好运而欢庆对保持健康、互相支持的友谊来说很重要。

　　6. They always want to talk about themselves
      6. 他们总想谈论自己

　　Friends like this always seem to be talking about their accomplishments. They never think to ask about you or your life, and it seems like they don't really care. Friends like this are harmful to your life because they leave you feeling like you are unimportant.

　　这类朋友总想谈论自己的成就。他们从不想着问问你和你的生活，对此似乎根本不在意。这种朋友“有毒”，因为他们让你感觉自己不重要。

　　7. They don't care enough to keep in touch
      7. 他们对保持联络不太在意

　　Life is complicated. It's important to understand that sometimes people can't always call or talk to you but they are thinking of you. However, relationships get toxic when the other person isn't thinking of you and makes no attempt to keep in contact. You find yourself being the only one reaching out, while they seem uninterested in maintaining the relationship. This is toxic because to have a healthy life you should engage in mutually fulfilling relationships with people who care about you as much as you care about them.

　　生活很复杂。有时候人们不能总给你打电话或者和你交谈，但他们心里想着你，要理解这一点。然而，当朋友并没想着你，也没有尝试保持联络。这段友情就“有毒”了。你发现只有自己总是去联络朋友，而朋友对保持友谊没兴趣。这种友谊“有毒”，因为为了健康生活，你应该融入令双方满足的友谊，你关心朋友，朋友也要关心你。

　　8. They never consider your feelings
      8. 他们从不考虑你的感受

　　Friends who never consider how their actions or words affect you are toxic to be around. They do things to benefit themselves even if it means your feelings are being compromised. It's unhealthy to have people like this in your life because you should surround yourself with people who don't better themselves at the expense of others.

　　有些“有毒”朋友从不会考虑到他们的行为或言语会影响到你。他们做有利于自己的事情，即使这意味着你的感情会因此受伤。有这样的朋友对你来说不健康，因为朋友不应该损人以利己。

　　9. They pressure you to do things you don't want to do
      9. 他们迫使你做不想做的事

　　When you're around them, they pressure you into doing things you aren't comfortable and make you feel like a loser when you don't do them. It's good to be around people who encourage you to try new things but it becomes toxic when they are forcing you to do things. You should be encouraged but not forced to try new things and move out of your comfort zone. Being forced to do anything has dire consequences that makes relationships like this toxic.

　　当你和“有毒”朋友在一起，他们总是迫使你做一些让你感到不快，或者不去做就感觉很失败的事情。结交鼓励你尝试新鲜事物的朋友对你有好处，但当他们迫使你做这些时就“有毒”了。朋友应该鼓励你尝试新鲜事物，而不是迫使你这样做，让你感到不快。被迫使做事有不良后果，让友谊变得“有毒”。

　　10. They aren't willing to change
      10. 他们不愿意改变

　　Human beings are constantly changing. Change is important in relationships. To maintain relationships and grow as people you should be able to change and adapt to each other to an extent that is beneficial to both of you. Friends who are set in their ways, which may not necessarily be right, and don't attempt to change and grow are toxic to your life.

　　人们总在改变。改变对友谊很重要。为了维护友谊和个人成长，你应该有能力改变，并互相适应，以达到对你和朋友都有利的程度。固步自封未必正确，那些不愿尝试改变和成长的是“有毒”朋友。

　　英文来源：lifehack.org

　　翻译&编审：yaning

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